When “But God” Holds You Back

But God, this isn’t what I wanted.

I planned to be serving in full-time missions in Europe by the age of 25, but God had a job for me that instead brought European students to me. It wasn’t what I expected or wanted. I know how easy it is to let dashed expectations derail you.

I intended on marriage and kids by 30, but God is doing another thing—mysterious as it feels. Is singleness holding you back?

Now, as I wait on Him, I’m tempted to fall into anxiety or doubt; but God is good. Always.

At times I’m scared, depressed, frustrated or uncertain, but God is not.

I have no idea where I’ll be in 10 years, but God does. (Honestly, I don’t really know what tomorrow holds. But He knows that too.) Still, uncertainty creeps into the shadows.

You may have noticed recently that we’ve been focusing on the phrase “But God” a lot here at Christar. We’re working to emphasis God’s consistent, remarkable presence in each of our lives.

When I glance over the handful of decades I’ve accumulated and all the “But Gods” that stare back at me as I think over where I’ve been, where I’m at and where I’ll be, I don’t always feel fully steady in my trust in God’s steadfastness.

But, when it comes to serving and doing what God wants for your life, God is consistently, perfectly, wonderfully unsurprised by what He has coming up next in your life. It might (probably) be less glamorous than you imagine, but God will use even your pain, disappointment and letdown—and He will redeem and use those things too! So take that next step fearlessly.

Stay curious and trust Him.

Laura lives in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where she freelances in various capacities, leads worship at her church and hangs with her adorably photogenic dog named Kimchi. She’s well acquainted with the chaos of trying to determine what to do in life.

Laura went to Bible college, where she explored cross-cultural ministry through classes, conferences and lots of practical application. After college she went to grad school, taught, went to South Korea for a year, worked for Christar, then spent a good chunk of the last decade working with international students in high school and college in the U.S.

She would love to journey with you as you consider missions—because she’s been there. Because reaching the nations is going to look different than it did in centuries past. And she wants you to be a part of it.